The Death of Death
On a few occasions, you know, I was like this (Mother makes a gesture of hovering between two worlds, as if I were really put in contact with what I have called "the death of death." It was the unreality of death. From a COMPLETELY material standpoint. It was a question of cells and of the consciousness in the cells. Like when you are within an inch of something: "There it is! I'm going to catch it, there it is! ..." But then it fades away. It has stayed as an impression.
A few seconds' experience which gave me the sense that the most central problem was solved. And then....
When it is like that, it will be interesting.
9 March 1963
I had several experiences of the kindquite a number of them. And since that last experience [the death of death], which lasted a second, I've had the feeling... the same kind of feeling. Before that, whenever I intervened for people, either to prevent them from dying or to help them once they were deadhundreds and hundreds of things I used to do all the timeI did them with the sense of Death like this (gesture above Mother), as something to be conquered or overcome, or the consequences of which had to be mended. But it was always that way, Death was... (laughing) just a little above. And from that moment [the death of death], the head emerged abovethe head, the consciousness, the will were above. On the side of the Lord.
I had an experience quite a long time ago, when Sri Aurobindo was here: one night I had the experience of being in contact with the Supreme Lord, and it was concrete:
"One dies only when You will it."
I don't remember in detail (I wrote it down), but the idea was like this: the Lord makes you die only with your consentyour consent is necessary for you to die. And unless He decides, you can never die. Those two things: for you to die, something (the inmost soul, that is) must consent, the soul must say yes, then you die; and when the soul says yes, it's for the Lord to decide. Ever since that experience, there had been the certainty that you can die only when the Lord wills it, that it depends entirely and exclusively on His Will, that there are no accidents, no "unforeseeable mishaps," as human beings thinkall that doesn't exist: it's His Will. From that experience till this latest one [the death of death], I lived in that knowledge. Yet with the feeling of... not quite the unknown but the incomprehensible. The feeling of something in the consciousness which doesn't understand (what I mean by "understand" is having the power to do and undo, that's what I call "to understand": the power to realize or to undo, that's the real understanding, the POWER), well, of something which eluded me. It was still the mystery of the Infinite Supreme. And when that experience [the death of death] came, then, "Ah, there it is! I have it, I've caught it! At last, I have it."
I didn't have it long (laughing), it went away! But my position changed. It's one more thing I see from above; I rose above, my position is above.
I have always observed very carefully every time somebody died here in the Ashram, and well (one or two persons have died since that experience, in particular the old doctor's sister), well, since then it has been ABSOLUTELY DIFFERENT. It was something I saw from above. There was no longer any mystery. But if you ask me to explain ... That I can'twords, the mind, no. But the POSITION of the consciousness was differentthe position of the consciousness. Altogether different.
And it happened the same way every time. But it may take years to turn into a conscious power. And IN THE PRESENT CASE, the conscious power would mean the power to give or prevent death equally; to effect the necessary movement of forcesalmost... almost an action on the cells, a mechanical action on the cells. With that power, you can give death, you can prevent death.
But there is NO LONGER any of that sensation people have of a brutal clash between life and its opposite, deathdeath is not the opposite of life! At that moment I understood, and I never forgot: death is NOT the opposite of life, it is not the opposite of life.
It's a sort of change in the cells' functioning, or in their organization.... When I say all this now, I try to pull back a deep-buried memory. But that's the point. Once you have understood that (all that you understand, you can do), once you've understood that, you can do it. Then it's very simple: you can easily stop the thing from going this way or that way; you can go like that or like this or like that (Mother seems to handle forces or shift the position of the consciousness). Then it almost becomes child's play to make someone die or make someone live! But that is better left unsaid.
But it will surely come! In how many years, I don't know, but the thing has become plain. And to me (as I said the other day), to me it seemed quite a central secretnot the most central of all, no, but fairly central with regard to life on earth.
It's ... of course, it would mean a new phase for life on earth.
It may almost result (later, once modern science has run an ascending curve) in a MATERIAL knowledge. It wouldn't be that [Mother's experience], but the image of it: what Sri Aurobindo calls a figure, a representation; the closest word is "image." An image: not the thing itself but its projection, as on a movie screen.
It is clear that ... It is clear that we are drawing near to what ordinary consciousness regards as the Marvelous.
At bottom, to understand the creation is to be able to make itthat's it. When you understand, you can do. Whatever men do is done with a conscious will here (Mother makes a gesture as if she were wearing blinkers), but with an invisible Power which may or may not come, which is at their disposal or isn't. And that invisible Power is what ACTS. Men can have conceptions, but they don't have the power. But when you make that movement and go from here to THERE (gesture above), then you realize that all those conceptions are like the notes of a universal keyboard; you can play all the notes, it's very fine and makes a beautiful orchestra, but it isn't essential, it's incidental. THAT [the invisible Power] is what is needed. THAT is what knows how things are to be done and how one should play.