Pavitra's Notebook
Page 11

Saturday, November 6, 1926

During the first part of the week I was disturbed by some movements of the vital which were possibly due to a hostile influence. And even when the possibility of the influence was removed some anxiety was still felt, due perhaps only to the novelty of the movement. But later this anxiety was thrown away and calm came again.
The chief difficulty is always the activity of the mind. It is neither possible to quiet it completely nor to stand aside from it. Even when for some very short time it does not interfere with the concentrations it is not truly quiet and resumes its activity at the very first opportunity. It seems to me that if it were possible to quiet it, progress would be rapid, for concentration would be easy. Now I am always disturbed and concentration is very imperfect.

This activity of the physical mind will only be completely transformed when the physical itself will be changed, but what should be arrived at is that during meditation, it be simply dropped off.

But what of the activity of the mind that observes what is going on and expresses it? Shall I try to suppress it?

Not suppress, but simply discard it. But there are movements of the mind more true in character, that are reflections from above and bear some stamp of truth. Are these not of this kind?

I don't think so. There is nothing of a special true character in them. They are ordinary mental movements, as far as I can see.
Nowadays at the beginning of every meditation I call in the force to effect this silencing of the mind and, open to it, let it work it out. I suppose this is correct.

Yes, it is.


What did you say to Mme. X.?

I told her what you said, but as coming from me. I told her that you would not allow any of us to make any political move and that from the very beginning you have kept the same attitude. I suggested that a third party should go and meet these gentlemen from Ch. and hint at what was behind the present situation, explaining also the attitude of the Governor and of X's family towards us. And I said that if their suspicion had been aroused, they would have come here for information and that they would have been told the truth, etc., etc., ...

Nolini told me that she said she was surprised that we would not move for them after what they did for us.

No. I did not mean that. I said simply that I took care to explain in the right way in order to avoid such feeling.

They must understand that I cannot and will not take any step in any political affair.(Let us recall that Sri Aurobindo was a political refugee in French India and that the British would have been only too happy to seize the least opportunity to obtain his extradition.) And what they might expect from me is purely spiritual. The only thing they can expect for the help they gave you and Mme. Z. is a spiritual return. And if they can receive it, it is all right. My only action is on a spiritual plane and when I decide to act in a case like this, it is from above. When C. R. came to me asking for help I did not act otherwise. For sometime he remained open and was able to receive something. He succeeded in all he did and even recovered from ill health. After sometime he severed the connection. He had asked me for some public recognition, some public blessing, etc. This I refused to give. And if the Xs use the power for public good ... But you know how the political atmosphere is corrupt here!

May I tell her this?

Well! by and by, and if the opportunity offers itself. You may tell her that I have retired completely from physical action for the present and am engaged only in spiritual work.

Saturday, November 6, 1926

Interview with Mother

The day was calm and peaceful. During my meditation this evening, all the work was in the outer consciousness. A peaceful and calm light descended which filled all the upper part of the body, without it being possible to tell exactly whence it emanated. And a work of calming went on in the outer mind. The lowest centre was also active—in short, the entire outer consciousness. In this case I make no effort to concentrate within myself.

Mother : Yes, naturally it is necessary to follow the movement of the force. It is a work of stopping this outer consciousness so that there would be only one consciousness henceforth.

There is an entire part of the mind which always remains active, it is that which observes. Rather the one which formulates what I observe in words. It follows the experience and expresses it. I can't stop it.

For the moment that does not matter. You are not conscious of a thing except when it is expressed in words. For the moment this is still necessary.

But later even that must disappear?

You will be conscious directly, without this intermediary. Naturally for expression words will always be necessary. But even then the mind is no longer required.

When he wrote the Arya, his mind was absolutely silent, passive. The consciousness was high above in the supermind, and only that kind of consciousness which is in the hand formed the words. He was conscious of them as they were being expressed. From the intellectual point of view the Arya is perfect: clarity, order, logic. And yet the mind has no part in it. That does not mean that the mind is useless. It has certain useful activities, but it is a ...

(here, eight pages are torn out)

(The beginning of this conversation with Mother is torn out.)
Mother : ... manifestation.

It is not possible that some mental elements come from one source and others from another?

Yes, but this is not generally important. In some cases, as in Egypt for instance, there was an advanced occult knowledge. Certain men accumulated a mental occult knowledge which remained there, quite ready. And when you enter into contact with it, it is at your disposal. But such cases are rare. Generally, these are tendencies or perhaps it is a faculty or some more or less important remembrance.

This divine aspect is, in short, the individual Higher Self?

You are speaking of the jiva, the individual element which persists and presides over the reincarnations ? It is more than that. These jivas, mostly, except for certain very rare cases, are like emanations of divine beings who have put forth outside themselves numerous jivas. And it is these jivas that incarnate.

In your case the divine aspect in question has put itself forth in jivas. But there is one of these which represents more directly this aspect—as the direct projection or emanation by which it will find its fulfilment. And this jiva, from what I can see, has already incarnated thrice upon earth, you would be the fourth. When an emanation like this prepares and chooses its vehicle, that preparation is made all the same under the distant guidance of this force. And often there are certain tendencies in childhood which cannot be understood till the day one becomes conscious of the aim of one's life. Then these tendencies, sometimes quite opposed to the milieu, to heredity, take on their raison d'être. Besides, it is only when one penetrates the depths of consciousness that one really becomes aware of the reason of things.

And what is there behind you is your real Self, clothed with all the experiences of a terrestrial life.

(The folloaring note is part of a preceding page torn from Pavitra's notebook:
Mother: At the beginning it (the jiva in question or the real "Self") remained behind. But gradually as your consciousness grew clear, it came close. I spoke to you about it only when your consciousness was sufficiently transparent for you to begin to perceive.)

Saturday, November 13, 1926

My vital being begins to take part fully in the meditation. And I have the sensation that my consciousness extends from the head to the feet, like a transparent and calm medium. It would be quite limpid if the physiological sensations of sight would stop, which they do sometimes but not always.
Then I have the consciousness of a presence behind me, the sensation of which is a duplicate of my consciousness. Even I feel it as if it were of the same size as my physical body and it presses to unite with my outer consciousness.
Today the unification was nearly done., though I did not experience any change of consciousness. I have the impression it came into me and only a slight touch would have been required to awake my full consciousness of it.
This luminous consciousness, is it not the physical consciousness ? I mean the whole physical, physical mind, vital and body?

It is, I suppose, the normal consciousness, including the physical, and the consciousness behind is the inner one, which tries to unite with the outer one.

I became also conscious of the movements of the vital which we may call egoistic movements. They rise from the vital and become conscious at the emotional centre. The thoughts by themselves have no character of vanity or selfishness, but when dwelling on certain thoughts, vital movements of this character appear and I cannot stop them. I suppose they will disappear?

Yes. The first thing is to become conscious that they do not come from the mind. Then when the mind is free from them and the emotional being sufficiently free, they rise but don't cloud the mind. They are then located in their proper place and by refusing them the consent and calmly putting them aside they will disappear. Most men cannot get rid of them because they cannot make this separation and are not conscious of this rising.

I feel as before something very deep and grand.


(Here, several pages of conversations with Mother are torn out.)

...philosopher's stone. And they said that this stone could even transform the physical body. Does this not prove a realisation in the physical?

Mother: Yes. This is something that has always been known, this possibility of transformation. But their vision was very partial. They were rather the scientists of the age.
What did you see yesterday?

My physical eyes did not see anything special. But I felt very powerfully the force and majesty.

One must not expect to see a complete change. Yet, some see very different aspects.

I saw a luminosity, a halo.

Yes, it scarcely goes further. Still, some see changing aspects.

I saw in fact modifications of the shadows of faces which could give this idea of successive changes; but as this was unsteady, I did not pay much attention to it.

There are different aspects which manifest successively. The modifications are still imperfect, for the flesh and what is most physical is not transformed; it penetrates into the blood. Yesterday it was above all the wisdom aspect which manifested in all its power—the knowledge in the Word.

There is quite a work going on in your eyes. You feel it ?

Yes. I have spoken about it several times.

All depends on how much your outer consciousness is united with the inner. When you have overcome the difficulties of your outer being, you will pass through a progressive initiation. I shall show you, through the eyes, all that is there in the universe .... You will then see the exact place of all these things.

You must get rid of all these difficulties.

Is there something special I should do?

The best thing, as you know, is to open yourself and ask that it be done.

Saturday, November 20, 1926

I suppose she must have told you the way 1 am going on.


There is nothing much that's important to add. I am conscious of the process of identification with that greater consciousness which is behind me; but it is not yet done. The difficulty resides always in the outer consciousness and the mechanical part of the mind which carries me away.

That is again the old story. You are paying too much attention to these workings.

I am not trying to suppress them by force. But is it really that they have no importance?

It is only an outer working which will be left and cast away in the process. This outer being is only the aggregate of what belongs to this life-time with a personality that is not your true personality.

How will it disappear?

When the inner consciousness will be fully awake, it will absorb the outer one. Or what cannot be absorbed will be rejected. There is no doubt that the change will occur.

You spoke of your experience with Lele.(Vishnu Bhaskar Lele a "temporary guru" whom Sri Aurobindo met in December 1907 and with whom he spent three days in meditation. At the end of the third day Sri Aurobindo had the experience of Nirvana.)
At that time did this mechanical working stop?

Yes. Everything had stopped. But everybody cannot do it. I could do it because there had always been a tendency to calm in my being and because I became aware of the thoughts coming from outside. When I rejected them the calm descended upon me. Everything appears in the mind but does not evoke any response in it. I see, I hear, but no responses are awakened. At that time a complete silence came down. Everything that happened was like a cinema. After that I had to take things back again into me, but in their right place.

So, this should not be expected for me?

It will come, as a thing pressed from above. But it may not come in the beginning. Of course the faculty of silence at will is needed and has to come.

Up to now no fundamental change in consciousness has occurred. I feel that my mind is deeper, has some deep background behind. I am more and more conscious of the working of the forces in me. But no radical change yet.

(The last ten pages of Pavitra's note-book are torn out.)

-Sri Aurobindo

Let the divine doors swing wide open for him who is not attached,
who increases in himself the Truth.
- Sri Aurobindo