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Pavitra's Notebook
Page 9

Monday, October 2, 1926

There is nothing to say about this last week. The same working goes on. At the evening sitting I feel above the presence of a great peace; it is there but it does not come down, though my mind is quieter also. I suppose it has to come down!

Yes, it will.

My thoughts are then seen as happening below. There is not much difference felt between a thought of mine and the voice of somebody else. They all play before me so to say.

Since my coming here my mind has gone through a whole process. Now, I don't feel much inclined toward space and time and towards reading books. The only thing that remains as a part of mental activity is the business of ordinary life. This is sometimes troublesome; however, I generally succeed in keeping it away during meditation.

In the vital I feel the same working. Are there two centres, one below and one above the navel?

The vital centre is at the navel itself. There is a play of forces between this centre and the chest centre. There is a connection between that part and the more physical part of the mind, the material stuff of mind. Below the centre of the navel there is another centre, a vital centre also, which is in connection with life, outward life. The activities of the navel centre may be felt all around the waist. From that centre to Muladhara, all is vital. At Muladhara the vital connects with the physical.

It seems that all these centres become active, though I don't distinguish very well their various activities.
As for the physical consciousness, it appears to me as being somewhere at the level of the mouth?

It may be anywhere. The centres are fixed, but the physical consciousness may be centred anywhere. The fact that it is in connection with throat centre is a common one. It is the centre of speech and of formulation and most of the vital and physical activities are connected there.

I see the difference. From muladhara the force proceeds downwards towards the legs and feet or permeates the whole physical consciousness. But the centre of consciousness, which appears as separate in meditation from the higher consciousness, is felt where I said.
Now there is something I don't understand. When I meditated with Mother last Tuesday the divine force came down. But what is the part of either you or Mother in such a coming down?

I don't understand!

Well! The divine force comes down from inside. How can it be brought down by somebody else? It is not a mere tuning of the vehicles, a quieting of the mind which could be done from outside, but a real call…

The explanation!? It is a fact, is it not?

Yes.

Then that is sufficient.

But I meant to say this. Suppose I had not come here, but remained doing yoga elsewhere, I and God would have been the same, but this coming would not have happened. Is there any kind of intermediary centre of divine force, for instance in the spiritual force which is here above?

Even in the case of those who look only for liberation and try to merge into God, such a help from someone who has realised before is generally necessary because the forces of ignorance are too strong. What is trying to come down here is a power for knowledge. In the past, knowledge has been reached also but a different kind of knowledge, a knowledge more abstract. Now it is a knowledge for effectuation, for practical purposes of the human life. That is what is in the spiritual force above. And as you are in touch here with it, it tries to manifest in you.

Mother has spoken of the blue light of Shri Krishna?

Yes, Krishna is generally depicted as blue. It is his colour. It means that it is one aspect of the Divine. All these colours are aspects of the divine force.

Is it a force of Knowledge?

Not exactly. Knowledge manifests more by a force whose colour is golden. Though it includes many other things.

Then it is a force of divine love.

It is a force of true devotion that raises the psychic being to a pure aspiration. It includes also many things. But names are always limiting. You must not hanker after naming things but see what is behind, realise and know.

Has it any connection with the historical Krishna?

It does not matter, after all, does it?

Sunday, October 3, 1926

Interview with Mother

Mother: Do not seek the truth with your mind!… All that you have done so far, all that you have learnt ought to be put aside. What holds you back is your education and your mental habits.

A Hindu who had the deep experience you had last time would have drawn knowledge from it. That experience truly would have brought knowledge, it was beautiful enough, wasn't it? and you felt all its power. But your European mentality came in the way. Your inner being opened, put itself in a receptive attitude which allowed the descent. Instead of trying to reason, plunge into the experience itself.

If I asked a question it was not that my mind was anxious or wanted so much to convert everything into mental terms. My mind has suffered hard blows and it is no longer so exacting. I feel a truth quite close: there is a part in me which knows it. But from time to time a question comes up in my mind, without its attaching much importance to it.

When you put the question to it, it was on the point of speaking. But it cannot speak before the psychic being is open.

If that experience could have brought along the desired change of attitude, all would have been transformed. But that must come, it is bound to come. You are on the eve of that. It depends on your opening to the Divine.

Next week you may come to the small meditation-room. You may feel something. That is why I am asking you to come.

Saturday, October 9, 1926

The pressure bears more upon the mind now. It works at a complete quieting of the mind and for a separation of my consciousness from the workings.

But is it always the mind that is working?

Yes. I feel in me a consciousness distinct from the mind, behind me; but when working I come again to the mind.

What will happen is that the mind no longer works, but all knowledge comes from above. The mind receives it, of course, but it has no longer to ascertain the truth by reasoning. And the workings, even the most outward like tuition, etc. are directed from above.

Does it mean that the mind is perfectly still?

The mind is nothing else then but a channel.

Why is it so difficult to bring into my active consciousness the inner experiences?

Because this consciousness has taken a habitual position, from which it is very difficult to dislodge it. It can be done in two ways. The first is by the mind itself. But it is very slow, especially in cases where the mind has been rigidly trained and has worked much, as in Europeans. In most Hindus where the mind is trained differently it is more easy. But this way is also not absolutely secure. When the mind, enlightened, begins to awaken, the vital powers arise. In the practical use of these powers, the mind is capable of making mistakes, and even if it receives the light from above, it may mistranslate the truth. On the other hand, the second way is shorter and surer, it is the opening o the psychic being. It is surer because it knows the truth and if a mistake is made, it feels uneasy until it is set right.

I feel in me some partial awakening of the inner being.

(Smiling) That is true, but it has to come completely forward.

Tuesday, October 12, 1926

Meditation with Mother at 11-45 a.m.

It is difficult for me to distinguish everything that happens during meditation. I only know that a sweet and powerful and luminous force descends into the vital right up to the physical.

A certain surface activity of the mind always remains. Is it that which prevents me from perceiving clearly?

What is its nature?

Creative thoughts come and seek to enter in. sometimes they remain without penetrating very deep. At other times I am obliged to throw them out lest they get hold of me.

Yes, that has something to do with it but it is not so important.

The receptivity is good. As soon as you are seated, the force descends and your receive it. What is missing is something in the consciousness. You do not get sufficiently absorbed in the inner experience. If that were so you would return with the full knowledge of what happened.

Between your head and chest a line of light is set up, a column, but not round, a square column so to say, of gleaming light. It is like a cage, the preparation of an abode for what is going to descend.

Yesterday evening, he spoke to you about the four aspects of the supermind, did you follow? Well, this white light comes from Maheshwari, it is a light of knowledge and purity. It is she who is the great preparer of the yoga. When that is ready generally an aspect of power (Mahakali) descends, which takes a personal form, whilst the force of Maheshwari is impersonal (at least here). I was expecting to see this descent. But the work of preparation was long—of assimilation and cutting off from the exterior, that took almost the whole time. At the same time a third ring separated you as though to cut you off from the world where you lived externally and also from your past. This force comes from Mahalakshmi.

The force of purification is always there now, preparing, regulating. I am always following you though I do not see you physically. As the preparation was very good I thought something would manifest in your consciousness today. But one must not be in too great a hurry, it will come another time.

Before coming here all my meditations were in wrong direction. Purely mental. I had no idea of what the inner experience was. That is why perhaps I have these difficulties. But perhaps this too was useful after all?

Yes, as a preparation of the instrument.
But what we are doing here is so different from what people are in the habit of thinking, even here in India, and so much more in Europe or in…

(Here several pages from Pavitra's notebook were torn.)

…October 1926

Mother: …in the inner experience.

That I know quite well. Even in meditation my mind remains active, my consciousness often follows in its train. I go to and fro so to say between the inner and outer movements. I cannot remain for long united with the inner movement. But I hope that when this inner experience becomes more enduring, I shall become more easily absorbed in it.

At present I have often the feeling of transparency. My mind becomes transparent and thoughts are like little centres of activity in this translucent milieu.

Yes, this is an experience which will develop.

Contd. Page 10

-Sri Aurobindo

Let the divine doors swing wide open for him who is not attached,
who increases in himself the Truth.
- Sri Aurobindo